Five Times NCIS Dealt With Gotham’s Villains
by SpenStarTTShowbiz
Summary: Written for Round 9 of the 2009 Knight vs Anarchy Challenge. Mild, mild one-sided Joker/Batman. Can be read as Gen.


_Title: Five Times NCIS Dealt With Gotham's Villains_  
_Author: __SpenStarTTShowbiz_  
_Rating: R  
Prompt: __**Carve your name into my arm. --Every Me and Every You (Placebo)**__  
Disclaim__er: __This stories contains concepts and characters created and owned by Viacom, CBS, DC Comics, Warner Bros. and others. I am in no way affiliated with these corporations, and i am not making any profit. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.__  
__Word Count: 3,329__  
__Pairing: minor, minor one-sided J/B. Can be read as gen__._  
_Warnings: crossover. semi-AU (Ra's Al Ghul is still alive), NCIS- set before the Michael Rivkin story arc, violence, sexual content (though nothing major), injuries, a unique and non-consented scar (you'll see what I mean)__  
_Author's Note: I'd like to thank **huro** for beta-ing part one and **zackery_faelan** for beta-ing part five. Thanks guys!  
Also, three parts are unedited, so there will be a few errors. If you see one, I'll be grateful if you point it out. Comments, Cookies (chocolate chip), and Critiques are always welcomed. :)

Enjoy

Tony

NCIS Agent Tony DiNozzo had never met Batman. Oh, he believed the man (or creature) existed. But as far as meeting him…Tony hadn't even traveled to Gotham in the last ten years, so again, the answer was no.

However, he did get to meet Gotham's chief villain. The terrorist known as Ra's al Ghul sat across from him in the interrogation room. With only a few internal injuries, the man had somehow survived both a train wreck and a fiery explosion. As soon as the guy was in less than absolutely critical condition, they moved. Tony suspected Gotham only expedited his departure to get the man as far away from their city as possible. Surprisingly (or maybe not), al Ghul recovered pretty rapidly, so now it was question and answer time, before the man was shipped off to ol' Gitmo.

Now, NCIS didn't have to interrogate this guy. In fact, they only connected to this case in the very loosest of ways. According to a Lieutenant Gordon, al Ghul had claimed his group infiltrated every government level of Gotham City. As the different federal organizations were unaware of this (before the incident, they had very limited knowledge of Ra's al Ghul - only knowing his name), each wanted to a chance to question him and determine whether he had federal moles as well.

The other agencies had absolutely no luck grilling this man. They admitted that the crazy leader had an absolute iron will. NCIS didn't expect to have much luck either, but hey, at least they got their chance to try.

Agent Tim McGee had been the first.

He didn't even stay a full minute.

Probie stepped inside, gave one look at al Ghul, and stepped out.

"I think he's out of my league," McGee explained. Their boss Gibbs took pity on his youngest agent, and sent McGee back to the comfort of his computer and other electronic gizmos.

Agent Ziva David was next. As interrogation techniques gained much more leeway in cases like al Ghul's, David dragged the man from his seat and slammed him into the wall, demanding to know where he had plants in NCIS.

al Ghul smiled and said, "Don't quit your day job, my dear."

After a few more hours of not getting any answer, David stormed out of the room.

Now, it was Tony's turn.

Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out his favorite deck of cards.

"So," Tony said to the megalomaniac, "do you play 'Go Fish'?"

al Ghul's eyes narrowed, but he did not acknowledge Tony; and Tony, really didn't need him to. Tony had recognized that look as he'd seen it quite often. Ra's either thought Tony was trying to trick him or was completely insane. Eh, whatever.

"Well, I happen to love the game," Tony said, "I mean you spend your time making pairs. It's like those internet dating sites. I mean can you imagine a playing card's profile. Hi, I'm Deuce Spades. I'm lookin' for a hot chick…two pretty eyes, two long legs, and a nice pair of…well, you get what I'm saying."

Ra's still didn't say anything, but Tony could see the eye roll.

"Of course, this deck is special," Tony explained, "these babies, well, they're all lesbians; Beautiful, hot naked chicks ready to have a special romance with other…well, hot naked chicks."

Tony pulled the cards from their deceptively plain box holder. He spread them face down across the table. Cuffed and leg shackled to his chair, Ra's wasn't close enough to move them, but he did get to view all fifty-two naked ladies.

Not even trying to disguise his disgust, Ra's stared at Tony with pure hatred. If he had been anywhere but an interrogation room, the crazy cult leader's cartoonishly angry eyes might have had Tony running for his life, but Tony lived and breathed interrogation rooms. Ra's had no power here.

"It's so hard to pick my favorite card," Tony said, "I mean most people love the Ace of Spades." He pointed to a very naked redhead, being fed milky liquid from an upside down peach spade.

"But I think I prefer the two of hearts," he continued, "She looks so innocent, but you know she'd let you go all the way on the third date."  
He picked up the blushing naked woman, failing to cover herself with two tiny red hearts, and brought it up Ra's eye view.

"What do you think?"

Ra's still said nothing.

Tony set the card down.

"I don't really care for the Joker. I mean she's a very pretty blonde, and I do like women who are dripping in water…or other liquids; but she has crazy eyes. I think she's the kinda woman you'd fuck and then she'd follow you forever," Tony said, "Lord knows I have enough of those already."

"I'm sure you do," Ra's muttered.

"Oh," Tony said, "Sex talk bothers you? I wouldn't blame ya. I can't imagine they get too many women in the Himalayas. Sure, many women like the hint of danger but normally, not suicide.

I know many of my dates like a little bit of adventure when they're with me. Personally, I believe my hair attracts the daring type. I've found that women like a guy with a little danger to him, as long as he has a great hairstyle. You ever see James Bond have a bad hairstyle? No, and even Roger Moore got his share of hot dates. I know I dated one chick that loved strumming her hands through my hair so much, she did some really, really kinky stuff just to spend time styling it." Tony patted his light brown, slightly spiky hair.

"Course, it was also one of the reasons I broke up with her. She had a weird petting fetish, and I don't mean the good type. I think she thought I was a puppy or something. It was cute at first, but after awhile…well, the relationship just wasn't working out. Ya know what I mean?"

Although Ra's hadn't said anything else, Tony could see the angry redness penetrate his epidermis. Tony smiled. _So much fun_.

"Oh," Tony said, "I'm sorry. I think I get it. Women aren't your thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But you didn't have to travel to a mountain peak to get laid. DC has some great locations. Dupont Circle, Logan's Cir…"

"I could have you killed tomorrow."

Tony's smile widened, "According to Lieutenant Gordon, your group infiltrated most of Gotham's inner structure, and you couldn't even pull off a simple water plot. And vaporizing water? Really? That's like something a James Bond villain would pull; and not even a good one. Ever seen _Octopussy_? General Orlov tries to bomb a circus on an army base to start WWIII. So, so stupid. Although maybe you're more of a Doctor Evil from Austin Powers. Or oooh.. oooh…. Sean Connery from The_ Avengers _movie. Now, that was a crummy film…"

Ra's lunged forward as far as the cuffs would let him,

"You're not safe anywhere, DiNozzo. I have men everywhere, including your precious NCIS. You'll be dead before the week is out."

Then Ra's realized what he said. He fell silent and sat back down.

Tony laughed.

"On second thought," the madman said, "you'll be taken alive, so I can kill you myself."

"Well," Tony said, standing up, "I guess we'll just add threatening a federal agent to the list of charges."

Tony left the room, leaving al Ghul to ponder over what just transpired.

After a minute, al Ghul muttered under his breath.

"Or maybe, I should just induct you into the League instead."

McGee

One Saturday morning, NCIS Agent and published author, Timothy McGee alias Thom E. Gemcity made an appearance at a local Barnes and Noble to do a book signing.

As _Deep Six_ had become a best seller, McGee often had horrible hand cramps after one of these sessions, but it was a good pain to have.

He had just finished signing his book for a busty blond…and her steady boyfriend, when a strange man appeared, wearing yellow checkered trousers, a bright green coat, and a white with red polka dotted bowtie, and handed McGee his copy of Deep Six

"Frabjous," the man clapped, "frabjous book."

"Uh, thanks," McGee said, trying not to stare at the man's Mad Hatter costume "who do I make this out to?"

"Why Alice, of course!" The man happily said, "She and I are going to have a spot of tea tonight."

McGee couldn't help it. He snorted and joked, "Yeah, right, and I'm the White Rabbit."

In a cold voice, the man said, "You wouldn't be fit to wear his coattails."

Without waiting for McGee to sign it, the man grabbed the book and huffed out the store.

After a moment, McGee said to the rest of the line, "Well, you can't satisfy everyone."

That seemed to put everyone at ease.

Well, except for a bad feeling that sprung up his gut…

_McGee, quit thinking about him. He's just a harmless, costume wearing man. You've seen worse at Sci-Fi conventions._

When he saw the man on a television news report a few weeks later being arrested for raping and murdering three blond girls, McGee would not be able to write for several months.

Ziva

Gibbs sat in the corner chair, holding his head in his hands. NCIS Mossad Liaison Officer Ziva David could not see his face, but she could tell he was blaming himself for not being there. She wished she could take his guilt away, but from personal experience, she knew nothing she could say would change his feelings.

While Gibbs had been having a conference between the Mayor of Gotham and NCIS Director, she, Tony, and McGee had been chasing down the former doctor and biological terrorist Jonathan Crane i.e. The Scarecrow. On the word of an informer, they had been led to believe the crazed villain was going to release his fear toxin in a DC elementary school.

Instead, their meeting with the "informer" had actually been a trap created by The Scarecrow.

Why?

She did not know.

She hoped Gibbs would tell her later.

The madman sprayed the toxin at her and her fellow agents. McGee and Tony had quickly fallen victim to the effects.

Tony started screaming something about his dad. McGee just waved like a fish. Or is that flapped?

She wished she could talk to Tony to be sure, but he was still in his coma. Apparently, former plague victims can't handle the fear toxin very well. The doctors said, he would live, but he would suffer more lasting damage than she or McGee. Gibbs would not look her in the eye after that.

The toxin had affected Ziva's head terribly. She saw visions of her sister's death. She felt herself killing her brother over and over; the gaping wound through his neck trying to surround her.

_This is not real. This is not real, _Ziva kept repeating to herself. She knew she wasn't thinking straight, but her Mossad side told her to complete her mission. Through the drug filled haze, she saw a hint of his sack mask.

_Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad_, Ziva prayed and then fired.

Beeping welcomed her into awareness. Apparently, Batman had rescued her and her teammates right after she had shot The Scarecrow in the forehead. If Batman had not have come, Crane would have bled out. He was also in a coma, but unlike Tony, he was not expected to survive

If the former doctor ever did recover, Ziva knew Gibbs would find some good way to kill him. Nothing less for the ones he loved.

Abby

Forensic scientist Abby Sciuto loved chatting online. Although she had gone through a few rough experiences, including being rejected because of her build by one IMer and stalked by another, she generally enjoyed herself.

GReenPoison23 was one of her favorite IM buddies. In fact, they were online best friends.

They had similar tastes in music, fashion, sex. They traded Vegan chocolate recipes, and created online environmental petitions.

Greenie had invited her on several occasions to come to Gotham City. Unfortunately, she had been forced to decline. Her boss, Gibbs, had forbid her from going, saying it was too dangerous. Sure, he wasn't her Dad, but she trusted his opinion more than anyone else, so if he said it was too dangerous, Gotham was too dangerous. She really wanted to go though. Greenie understood, because she couldn't travel to DC either. She couldn't bear to leave her plants alone for more than a few hours. Yes, it was kinda hinky, but Abby had her own unique hobbies, so she would never judge someone else.

Still wished she could go to Gotham though.

Gibbs

Before he traveled back to Washington, NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs knew he needed to prepare to be the laughing stock of the entire intelligence community.

Okay, that probably wouldn't happen. After all, he had attended this high society function at Gotham's Wayne Tower to convince the well-to-do to donate to Bethesda Naval Hospital. As his subordinate Agent Tony DiNozzo had been successfully treated there for pneumonic plague, Gibbs felt obligated to help them out any way he could.

Still though, if someone had told him that a wooden dummy would be holding his team hostage in thirty minutes, he would have had that person psychologically examined.

Of course, that wasn't even the most unbelievable part of the whole evening….during the mêlée of people trying to flee the masked gunmen, Bruce Wayne, infamous laissez-faire womanizer billionaire, intercepted a bullet meant for his forensic scientist, whom he should not have been conned to bring along, Abby Sciuto. Abby's slack-jawed response to her rescuer's courageous act had mirrored his own.

People stopped running. Gunmen, wealthy socialites, naval officers, and hired help all turned as one to stare at unfathomable scene.

"You idiot!" the dummy said to the ventriloquist, "do you know who you just shot?"

"Gruce Wayne," The Ventriloquist replied in a hushed voice.

"That's right," the dummy said, "The Prince of Gotham, richest kid in town…we'll be lucky to make it out of this room, let alone out of Gotham.  
At that moment, Bruce moaned, and for some reason, the pitch disturbed Gibbs; why did it sound faked?

Once more, everyone had fallen silent. The well dressed crowd could not believe Bruce Wayne had been shot.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," An older British man stepped out from the crowd of people, "I'm Master Wayne's butler. May I please be allowed to him to tend to his injuries?"

The Ventriloquist nodded, but the dummy said, "No, I want twenty million, and you know how to get that for me."

The butler stood tall, "Unless you let me assist my boss, I refuse to help your endeavor."

Before there was a chance for violence to occur, Gibbs interjected, "How about one of the doctors and I help Wayne out, while you two work out the financial matters?"

That seemed to placate both men, though the butler seemed to want to say more.

A doctor stepped forward and the two of them walked over and crouched next to Wayne. Fortunately, people had enough sense to stay away from the scene.

Still, it was quite a sight to see Wayne lying on the ground, sweating and shaking. Bruce Wayne represented materialism, promiscuity, and decadence, not heroism and bravery.  
"Mr. Wayne," Gibbs said, "My name is Gibbs. Me and the good doctor are going to

take care of you."

"Thanks," Wayne whispered.

Gibbs knew Wayne's family history. Who didn't? The tragic murders made headlines across the country. An eight-year old's parents shot before his very eyes, parent's who happened to be the wealthiest and most philanthropic members of one of the country's largest cities.

At the time, Kelly, his daughter, had been close to Wayne age. After seeing countless pictures, showing the Wayne boy and his haunted, innocent loss eyes, Gibbs and his wife sat down with their daughter and had a long conversation.

"If anything ever happens to your mother and me," Gibbs explained, "I promise you that you will never have to feel like you did anything to cause it, and even though you might not actually see us, we'll always be there."

"Okay, Daddy," Kelly said, "Can I go over to Maddie's house now?"

At the time, Gibbs knew she didn't understand him, but if the worst ever did happen, he hoped his words would be able to comfort her. He also figured he could explain it to her again when she was older. But then a sniper and a car crash…

He'd feel guilty for the rest of his life.

But enough about that.

The doc and Wayne been exchanging quiet pleasantries, while the doctor checked his vitals.

Gibbs hadn't inspected the wound yet, but as there wasn't an awful amount of blood, he didn't think the bullet hit that deep. It also helped that the shot had hit the right shoulder rather than the left. Even though it would cause Wayne a tremendous amount of pain, they still needed to cut the bullet out, before it nicked anything major.  
Deciding to prepare the wound to be cleaned, Gibbs took out his Swiss army knife and made a slit through the expensive suit fabric. He then ripped open the cut to expose the flesh and saw…

A small bullet wound.

A light amount of blood surrounding the wound.  
And huge red scar in the shape of a J.

It hit Gibbs.

"You're Batman," Gibbs whispered in a voice only Wayne could hear. _Holy shit._

Wayne's eyes widened and his head started twitching uncontrollably.

"No, no," Gibbs said in a soothing voice, "I'm not going to say anything. Just relax. Can you do that for me?"

Wayne nodded. At that moment, Gibbs really examined Wayne's wide brown eyes. He had never seen such innocent looking, terrified eyes. Unlike his press photos, Wayne wasn't arrogant; and he wasn't a killer either.

Maybe he'd ask about that later. Right now, he had a more pressing question to ask.

"Is that the Joker's handiwork?"

"He did that," Wayne said, "to 'remind me of who I belong to'."

Gibbs could hear the bitter timbre in Wayne's voice, speaking the phrase as if it too, were carved into the young vigilante's shoulder.

"Don't, let him get to you," Gibbs said, "he is definitely insane, but he's still human."

Wayne nodded once more.

"Do me a favor, Gibbs," Wayne said, "press the two buttons on the face of my watch."

"Why?" Gibbs said. He didn't want Wayne to do anything stupid with a bullet wound in his shoulder.

"It will alert the authorities that we're in trouble," Wayne said.  
Gibbs pressed it. A moment passed, and nothing happened. After a few minutes, he started to hear police sirens. He also started to hear what sounded like an oncoming train.

Suddenly, A colony of bats crashed through the windows. At the same time, gray smoke filled the room. He looked back down at Wayne, but the billionaire was gone.

The ordeal ended shortly after. The ventriloquist and the dummy were hanging upside down from the ceiling. The other gunmen had been tied and knocked out. No one had been killed.

Later after they had been evacuated and checked for injuries, Gibbs walking with a still shaken Abby, looking for the rest of his team. Truthfully, he was also looking for Wayne, but he didn't expect to find him; however, then he noticed the billionaire sitting on a hospital stretcher. He was arguing with his butler and one of the paramedics. Suddenly, Wayne stopped and turned to face Gibbs, and although neither bothered coming any closer to each other, they both shared a quiet look. Then Gibbs nodded, and Wayne looked away. Gibbs would keep his mouth shut.

Abby was alive, and nothing else really mattered.


End file.
